Changing of the Guard - Whoops, I Meant Meds!

Today I had an emergency appointment with my therapist as well as my psychiatrist. I must tell you all that after all the years of trying to find people who honestly care about my health and well-being, I finally found two men who fit the bill. I explained my constant feelings of exhaustion and need to sleep up to 14 hours a day. I expressed my resentment that I am gaining so much weight while taking two anti-psychotics. My therapist said that since I stopped smoking cold turkey 10 weeks ago that could be a big part of me being so tired - no nicotine, no stimulants to my system. He wrote everything down and I then saw my psych. I said can I stop taking some and decrease the anti-psychotics? He said stop taking the Luvox immediately, drop to 400 mg of Seroquel a day, and he wrote me a scrip for 150 mg of Wellbutrin, which will be increased to 300 mg in a month. He echoed my therapist's thoughts. They were both ecstatic that I quit smoking. Now I have to change my diet and exercise more. Will this ever end? I mean, it took me YEARS to stop smoking and I'm still reveling in the glow of my accomplishment - can I just have some time to say YAY ME!? Just a little bit of happiness? I am happy that I'm changing meds; I was on Wellbutrin before and I did lose weight. We are just very concerned that it will make me manicky, so I must be vigilant and careful of mood swings. Hope y'all are having a good day ~ it is sunny, bright and in the 60s here ~ thank You God for the blessings!!!

I would like to get into the topic of exhaustion and bipolar disorder. I take no less than ten medications daily for my bipolar disorder, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. A couple are anti-psychotic meds. I have gained a LOT of weight and am planning on speaking to my psychiatrist and therapist when I see them next week. The reason(s)? I am sleeping almost constantly. I go to bed at 11 pm and fall asleep within ten minutes. I sleep until approximately 6 am. I wake up, get dressed and putter around the house. Within an hour I am exhausted and go back to bed. It is not uncommon for me to sleep until 3 pm. That's 8 more hours of sleep. I stay up about an hour then go back to bed. I feel so listless and drugged I cannot begin to explain it adequately. I will get back up around 7 pm, watch some TV, then go in for the night at 11, and start all over again... Do I have chronic fatigue syndrome? Am I depressed big time? Have I contracted mono? Perhaps I am bored. I have no idea. I saw my cardiologist yesterday and he thinks it is the amount and types of meds I take. He also increased my blood pressure medication as my BP is on the elevated side. Any comments would be helpful; thanks for listening!

In Memory of Dick Clark, 1929 - 2012

April 18, 2012 is now a very sad day in the entertainment industry. The legendary Dick Clark died of a massive heart attack at the age of 82. I had the great fortune of meeting Mr. Clark in Hershey, PA back in the 80s. I asked him to confirm if Barry Manilow got his "big break" on American Bandstand back in 1975. He said it was true and he was pleased to be a friend of Barry's. Mr. Clark is a legend in the broadcast industry and got his start as a disc jockey in Philadelphia, PA. He became host of the wildly popular "American Bandstand" music show. I remember every Saturday afternoon I would watch to see what the new styles in clothing were, up to date hairdos, and of course new dance steps were. He will also be forever known as the "New Year's Rckin' Eve" host. The show began in 1972 (when I was 9) and it was my "babysitter" for many years until I was old enough to go out New Year's Eve and party with friends. Still, we would turn on the TV and sure enough, there would be Dick counting down the final 30 seconds of Decembers gone by, Mr. Clark, you were a part of my musical life and for this I thank you. As you said, "Music is the soundtrack of your life." Amen. And may you rest in peace. God Bless.

Happy Easter - Happy Passover - Feliz Pescoa!

I would like to wish all my Christian friends a Happy and Blessed Easter and to my Jewish friends, Happy Passover. Feliz Pescoa to my Hispanic friends! If you don't fall into any of these categories - have a GREAT day! Happy Spring!

Another Part of My Life Gone...and Life Does Go On...

With the advent of Facebook, I can say I have reconnected with childhood friends, grade school and high school classmates, and Manilow pen pals I conversed with back in the late 1970s, among others. I don't know about you, but I can say it has made a profound change in my life. For that I am grateful. Yesterday I took a chance and punched in the name of a person that was an instrumental part of my life during sophomore year in high school (1977-1978). Immediately it came up "Living Memorial for ______ _______". She had a very unique name but I wanted to make sure it was her. True enough, one post had information that I knew was personal enough to confirm it was indeed a page dedicated to her. Unfortunately, she had died last month. With a heavy heart, I read the posts. Friends expressed their condolences and feelings about my friend. Her daughter said she was so glad _____ was her mother and she was grateful _______ took care of her and her children. Now I must say my friend and I had an interesting relationship. She lived on the West Coast in a major city. We were friends through the "magic of Manilow". When I would have arguments with my parents, I would run out of the house up the street to a pay phone and call her collect, sobbing in frustration. ________ always had kind words to say. We started making arrangements for me to move across the country to be with her. My life was totally unbearable. It was the beginning of my descent into hell thanks to rapid severe cycling bipolar disorder. But it would be four more years until I was officially diagnosed with the disease. ______ and I wrote to each other every single day. It took four days for a letter to be delivered. Therefore, if she mailed a letter on Monday, I would receive it on Thursday, Tuesday on Friday, and so on. And I'm not talking about a skimpy one page letter - I mean letters from eight to twelve pages long. She told me things would get better. Unfortunately, the talk eventually drifted to sexual tones and comments. My parents got hold of the letters and unbeknownst to me, they contacted her and threatened a lawsuit if she did not cease and desist all communication immediately. I didn't know of this until I called and she said she couldn't speak to me anymore. She explained what happened and I was hysterical. I actually had a physical ache in my heart. There went my "out". I knew I would never make it through high school. Consequently, I attempted suicide by downing an entire bottle of Stelazine (known back then as "the happy pill"). My father was so angry at me - he called the neighborhood pharmacist and asked what he should do. He was told in no uncertain terms to get me to the ER immediately to have my stomach pumped. Never happened - but I slept for three days straight. My descent into the dark abyss continued for years. Suicide attempts continued. But I never forgot ______; I just wish I had been able to contact her before she passed away to tell her I was doing a lot better. I'll never forget her. Just another part of my complicated life lived, and another person who touched my life, however brief, is gone.

Barry Manilow: It's No Secret!

   Well, for the two people in the world who don't know this by now, I am a Manilow fan.
   And no, I am NOT a Fanilow.
   I cringe when I hear that description of Manilow fans. I don't go to Manilow parties, I don't blast "Copacabana" on my car stereo. Even Barry scoffs at the moniker.
   I have had the good fortune of meeting him several times and every opportunity was fantastic. I even worked for him in 1987 during his book-signing tour. Barry is an absolute gentleman and fun to be with.
   When I was in high school, I was an absolute geek. I became totally captivated by the total Manilow mystique and consequently, the name "Barry Manilow" and my name became synonomous. I went to my 30th high school reunion in 2010 and many gals asked about Barry and me. I had lots to tell them!
   I can say that he is an instrumental part of my life. I, as many people, had a lot of troubles growing up. His music got me through the rough times. For that, I am eternally grateful. Thank you, Barry, for sharing your musical talents with the world! God Bless!

    I love this commercial from Target!
    I remember "Alouette" - a nursery rhyme from my childhood. Target has taken this song and exploded it! The acrobats jump from scene to scene, changing ordinary items into colorful things like lamps, pillows, tableware. I like the gaily-colored suits the acrobats wear. And I must say that the commercial reminds me very much of one of my high school classmates, who will be known as "J". She is fluent in several languages, including French. Every time I see this, I think of J in a happy way.